Please it hurts so much i cant take the pain..how can i live like this?

Um, if he said no you shouldn't touch him. He had a right to be pissed. And no, you can't touch your own bf if he says no. Because your bf or not, it's HIS body. You would be pissed if he had done the same to you. You don't have "rights" to him just because you love him. Show him a little respect and you might just be able to work things out.